THEY JUST KEEP COMING!
CAST EVERYTHING.
Over a hundred spells across fire, ice, lightning, and earth. They fuse. The fusions were mostly intended. Petrify the front row, call down Meteor Shower, make Baked Alaska everyone else's problem, and let the paperwork sort itself out.
MEET BEAUTIFUL AND INTERESTING PEOPLE.
The countryside is packed with locals dying to make your acquaintance. Ten thousand of them. They've formed a line. These four are management.
Kneel before me. Then fetch a mop — for yourself.
I've been under the sand this whole time. Nerves, mostly.
Kneel. Or stand. From up here it is exactly the same.
We are nine. We took a vote. You lost.
THE SITUATION.
The kingdom is beset by ten thousand monsters, and every proper hero was busy. What remains is the Wild Wizards Club — a loose professional association of four spellcasters who keep saving the day because nobody else can survive the meeting. They care about exactly one thing: the Tally, their endless contest of one-upmanship. The kingdom will be saved anyway. Mostly by accident.
THE FINE PRINT.
THE SUMMONS BOARD
Sign a contract before the run: fight broke, cursed, surrounded, or simply making poorer life choices than usual. The payout is excellent. The lawyers are monsters. Literally.
THE NAP CLAUSE
Sleep through the early wave and wake up mid-apocalypse to bigger danger, faster rewards, and loot that looks legally distinct from a bribe. The union fought hard for this one.
JOIN THE WIZARD COUNCIL
The beta isn't a waitlist — it's a club with dues nobody collects. Council members get the test builds first and complain directly to management.
Google Play is a bouncer: it only lets listed accounts through. If it says the app isn't available, send the email on your Play account and the Council adds you. iOS needs no list.
THE COUNCIL SPEAKS.
